An employee for USAir, who happened to have the last name of GAY, got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight"programs.   However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So,not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat.     Unknown to Mr. Gay, another USAir flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being rerouted to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".Airline officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember. So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?".     The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane".     Our Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said,tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!"   Confusion reined as more and more passengers began yelling that USAir had no right to remove gays from their flights. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?" Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always ask the same old ridiculous questions." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!" "Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand." About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye. "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked. "I took your advice." "Didn't you compliment her?" "Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too." "It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said. "Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment." "What did you say?" "For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man went to a French restaurant. The menu was in French and he spoke no French. When the waiter asked his choice, he told the waiter to bring out the restaurant's specialty. The man had a truly fantastic meal. The waiter asked if the man wanted dessert. He responded that the waiter should bring out the restaurant's specialty. The waiter said that was the peach poosay and he would order it for him. A waitress came out with a covered silver platter. She took the cover off and there was a peach that had been quartered and pitted. The waitress proceeded to raise her skirt and take a piece of the peach and push it in and out of her pussy. She picked up the second piece and did the same. The man called the waiter over an asked, "Am I actually expected to eat the peach after that?" The waiter responded, "But no Monsieur, you eat the poosay." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A local Radio Station, WINO was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence that would make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, had many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what's your name? Caller: Hi, me name's Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word? Caller: "Gwan" spelled G, W, A, N. DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Dave, Gwan is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense? Caller: Gwan fuck yourself! Ha Ha Ha! At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is no place for that sort of language on a family show. After many more unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller: DJ: WINO, what's your name? Caller: Me name's Jeff. DJ: Jeff, what is your word? Caller: "Smee" spelled S, M, E, E. DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Jeff, Smee is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense? Caller: Smee again! Gwan fuck yourself! Ha Ha Ha! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?'...That's what I do. ", said Irving. "Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" "Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"